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Parents Of College Bound Students Play An Important Role In The College Admissions ProcessAs a former college dean of admissions I've seen firsthand how parents impact the success of their child within the college admissions process and beyond. Being a parent, myself, I know how it difficult it can be as you wonder are you doing the right thing to help your child? Too much or not enough? It certainly always feels to me like a highwire balancing act! The information gathered here is meant to offer some observations and insights into how to successfully guide and support children through the college admissions process. It can be a very stressful process and often just being there for your child is what they need the most!
Just Being There To Support Your Child Is Most ImportantDuring my 15 years in admissions, it never ceased to touch me that the students who approached the admissions maze with the appropriate outlook of undertaking a serious project that would impact their future (but that also seemed to get that life would not end if they weren't accepted to an Ivy) had at least one parent that was a pillar of support behind them. I think it always hit home with me because I would see too many examples of students that lacked this support.This process has a lot of emotion tied up in it from all sides. It will be a rollercoaster of a ride for your child and you! I believe the most important thing you can do is fasten that seatbelt and go on that ride with them! One of the best ways to do that is to go with your child on their college visits. And, help them to really "look" at colleges. It is a big investment of your time, but your child is worth it.
Embrace Your Supporting RoleThe students that impressed me the most always seemed to have a parent or two that understood the importance of taking an active interest in helping their student with a very big milestone in their life. Yet, never too much of an interest! The parents of these students appeared to naturally understand that this process BELONGED to the student, not to them. They were a supporting actor, not playing the lead role.It's hard to let your child experience things for themselves, I know! But, they have got to be the star of this one particular movie. Think of it as the first giant step of their becoming a strong, independent person that CAN survive the big, bad world out there. At somepoint, they will have to do that without you. Tonto never said much but you knew he was always there for the Lone Ranger. Be your child's Tonto!
Let Your Child Be Their Own Advocate!The one thing that impresses any college admissions officer is when a teenager handles things on their own. It must be because it's all too often that a parent is on the other end of the conversation about whether their child should submit an extra essay or whether coming to summer orientation is really mandatory. Try not to fall into the trap of wanting to help so much that you take over the process. Your child should be the one that initiates the vast majority of any contact with the college!But, Don't Just Sit In The Car!As students would be finishing up their visit to our college, I would always inquire as to if I could help them with directions to their next destination. When students came to these visits alone, it always struck me funny when they would respond that "No, my Dad (or Mom or both parents) is out in the car waiting for me. He knows how to get back to the highway."On one hand, I think it's great these folks knew that their child does have to do this for themselves. On the other hand, I can tell you that students seem more at ease if Dad or Mom are a little closer than the parking lot. Kind of like when you first took them to the playground. They'd always look around to make sure you are there, just in case. Go into the admissions office. Have a cup of coffee. You can still let your child do all the talking. And, it's warmer than the car!
Other Subjects To Be Sure To Talk About With Your College Bound ChildYou can really help your child in more ways than you realize by just offering to talk about a variety of things related to the whole application process. There are also things that you can do inadvertently that can hinder your child's efforts.To see some of the common mistakes parents make in the college application process, click here. Other topics to be sure to talk about at some point include: Meeting Deadlines And Underscoring Their Importance The Importance Of Making A Game Plan To Successfully Complete All Their Applications On-time The Fact That The College Essay Does Matter Understanding That The College Application Process Is Not A Judgement Of Them As A Person The Importance Of Handwritten Thank You Notes How They Can't Just Forget About The Rest Of Their Senior Year Finances (who's going to pay for what when it's time) Credit Cards (your child will be inundated with offers at college) Independent Living Topics (how to do laundry, personal safety, etc.) How To Balance A Debit Card Account (or checkbook for old-fashioned folks like me) What To Do WHEN They Have A Disagreement With A Roomate (not IF) Time Management Skills Just Saying NO (to a lot of things) How Getting Involved In Good Things Outside Of Class Can Help Their Transition How To Look For A Part-time Job What To Do If They Get Sick Or Hurt And, many others...
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