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Common Mistakes Parents Make In The College Application ProcessEven parents with the best intentions can make some mistakes that really are detrimental to a child's college application efforts. I know you want the best for your child. I know you only want to help them succeed and get into the best college for them. I know. But, you still have to realize that your actions within this process can and do have an impact. Try to keep them all positive and avoid the mistakes others have made before you. Here's the ones I saw most often during my 15 years in college admissions.
Over-Polishing The EssayIt was easy to see the essays that had been overhauled by Mom and Dad. Remember, we have four years of high school course grades, test scores and other people's comments that give us a pretty good idea about your child's academic abilities. B students rarely use words like "plethora" or "analagous." In fact, neither do most A+ students, either!You get my drift. Put the thesaraus away when helping your child with their college essays! Seriously. You'll do more damage than good if your child's essay loses that powerful teenage voice that is uniquely theirs.
Making Calls On Behalf Of The StudentAdmissions offices receive lots of calls from parents asking about setting up visit appointments, checking on whether or not an application document was received, seeing if any other action is needed, as well as for many other reasons.GET YOUR CHILD TO MAKE THESE CALLS THEMSELVES. You certainly aren't earning them any bonus points and it is noticed when an eager parent (yes, we know you are only trying to help) constantly is the person to make contact. You've got to cut the umbilical cord if your child is to be successful in college and in life. Start now. As an added bonus, so many parents do this that YOUR CHILD WILL STAND OUT. Isn't that hard to believe? But it is true.
Speaking For Your Child During An Interview Or VisitPlease don't answer a question directed at your child. Especially, if it's about them. The admissions officer wants to hear from the student, not you. I highly recommend not sitting in on an interview even if you are invited. I know, you want to make sure your child doesn't forget to mention that great award or that special talent, but better that they forget now and make an effort to communicate it later than to have you answering questions for them like you're their agent or something!If you feel that you really have something that needs to be shared then write a letter to the Director of Admissions. State that the reason you are writing is because you believe that observations from you as a person that knows this child better than anyone else can help to give a true picture of who this applicant is. However, be cautious with this strategy. If you are just rehashing things that are obviously mentioned in other parts of the application process you won't be helping the cause.
Forgetting That Your Actions Reflect On Your ChildI know it's hard to believe, but some parents just don't realize how their attitude reflects on their child's candidacy. You know the old saying, "the apple doesn't fall far from the tree." So, be polite to everyone you come in contact with at a college. Remember that they are besieged with requests from early fall to late spring.Filling Out Information Requests Or Even Actual Applications For Your ChildI was always amazed at how often this would happen. I'd find out because our office was especially adept at following up personally with students. They wouldn't have a clue and out would pop a comment like "Oh, my Mom must have done that."Definitely a no, no for applications. Or any part of the application (like the essay). Requesting information certainly won't hurt your child's chances, but goodness, they really need to do this themselves. If they aren't interested enough, then maybe they shouldn't be going to college.
Falling In Love With One SchoolYes, the PARENT falling in love with one school and then becoming completely close minded about the whole process of trying to find the best fit for their child. Or, a parent may getting too wrapped up in having their student go to a college that everyone has heard of. Trust me, there are lots of really great schools out there where your child would get a fantastic education that you havent' heard of. Remember, it's not the window sticker that matters most, it's who's going to prepare your child best for the rest of their lives!Trying To Hide SomethingNo matter what it is, it's always better to be upfront about it. Whether it's a blemish on your child's record, or reporting your financial documents to a financial aid office. Lying about it never ends well.Constantly Referring To College As The Best 4 Years Of Your LifeMany of us look back fondly on our college years. But, try to remember before it was behind you. We were all a little scared. And, truthfully, there are parts of going to college that are no picnic at all. Don't gloss over those hard parts. In fact, it would be really great if you could talk about the challenges you encountered in your experience with your child. They may just sit there, not look at you, and pretend to be text messaging someone, but I guarantee they are listening.Constantly referring to college as the best 4 years of life doesn't reflect the hard work that will be required to survive what is a long and difficult journey. Instead, it often puts undue pressure on a child that can see things very differently from you.
Not Letting The Student Be The Focus Of The College VisitYes, college visits are fun for parents, too. I go on a lot of them myself and enjoy every one of them. But, some parents take it a little too far by trying to be funny within a group tour or trying to impress the group with eight zillion questions. Let the students be the focus. Go along for the ride and keep your eyes open and your ears perked. Remember, the objective is to find the best fit school for them, not you.For other college visit guidelines that might be helpful to you, click here. Got a question? Click here to use my Ask The Dean FREE service. Back to top.
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